Camera Crisis

I took a ton of family photos, and I don't believe anyone else brought their camera out. But my settings were off and all my pictures had movement in them! Photo of my daughter Rachel and boyfriend Loyal. Photo with nephews Dale, Rex and center son RC and Randell. My mountain man, can't even see his dredlocks and my mirror image son who like me just got his glasses at 20. He's followed my heart and it's hurt him also. Can you even see his glasses in the blur. His smile was evident to me and I need that. More than anything life has to offer I need to see my children smile. It makes every little discomfort worthwhile.
After fogging out online, sleeping in front of computer, I was able to grab that second wind and get to some more framing. Had crisis with one print. Glass was non glare and didn't have another piece in same size. After deciding to use it anyway, chipped frame paint...touched that up and while it's wet noticed a cat hair beneath the glass. For some reason it seems that piece wasn't meant to be, but tomorrow when the paint has dried I will remove that.

More pictures to take tomorrow at family's Thanksgiving. It will be so good to see all the family, I believe they all will be there. My children will be there anyway. It's not often enough that I get to see them.
Currently taking care of self...last three days bike rides and last two days target training muscle groups. This afternoon's trips up and down stairs were rather trying. I was able to get another set of prints matted, the first set framed and as evening fell, another coat of paint on second set of frames. Unbelievable that four coats are necessary.

Glitches.

Working to keep a forward momentum and things just don't cooperate. Cooked down a pumpkin that was frozen and came up with pumpkin water. It will enhance the turkey soup. My frame painting trial became disaster after paint did not dry after 24 hours, when it was supposed to dry by 4-6:00 hours. I cleaned off the upper layer with paint thinner and looked at inspiration. Deadlines are coming quickly.

I'm Thankful

For the wonderful weather. Last year at this time we had freezing rain. I saw something or other about snow but I wasn't going to pay attention yet! My son came over today with a ladder and helped me clean the gutters and hang Christmas lights. I cooked the turkey and stuffing, cleaned the bird, made a first batch of turkey soup stock and interacted with the new neighbor. My suspicion is the chestnut is not broke as it wore no halter and stayed quite distant from my attentions. They apparently have access to the barn by way of new paddocks. Maybe a shared carrot tomorrow. I had an afternoon bike ride and pleasantly there was very little traffic. It likely was dinner time around the area. I only noticed one of about ten houses that had guests in my four mile ride. The others must have gone out to relatives or friends. The young male calves watched me pedal my ole Schwinn and one had the audacity to charge forward to the fence line, he received a happy how do you do as I so enjoy the attention of kindred spirits. I set out to accomplish much today and with some realignment I still accomplished much. Just not the same as my days agenda. Still to find the eyeglass lens. Maybe tomorrow.

I'm Thankful for...New Neighbors!

Oh, I hope they stay! I came home and such a lovely sight. Ran out and took some photos, they were rather aloof, but it would be their first day here! They are so beautiful..can't wait to see them run!
After,before, between jobs today I tended to tasks needing to be done. Caught up on laundry, dishes, banking, grocery shopping, thawing turkey, sanding and painting frames. I'm now ready to set awhile with a good flick (The Notebook, I just found after many searches!)and see what happens if I add some color to my butterflies.

Life Tonight

Challenging evening with two models. Twice as much work in same time frame. Although one of my sketches just had single model. I was pleased to see Lauren after many years. I regretted that I had picked up my work from previous show on Saturday as there had been one of her. Sounds like she scheduled to come back after holiday break. Last evening of life drawing session until holiday show comes down. It was packed. Just enough elbow space. People I'd not met before. Sharing of wine and appetizers must draw the friends out!
I had an interesting children's class today, subbing I had no idea where these kids would be in skills and what had been taught previously. The school is out already for Thanksgiving and boy were these kids talking! I was a little frustrated with their aspiring perfection and left it at a point where they must imagine and create their own backgrounds and decorative motifs. We touched on skills in technique that would apply to each picture they create and left it on that.
Stopped at vet to pick up my free turkey and waited about 20 minutes for practice owner to come out of appointment to thank and wish a Happy Thanksgiving. I'll be there tomorrow evening but doubt that he will. Too bad I don't start holiday tomorrow! I'm ready for a long one. Second coat of paint on recycled frames. One may need a third as it was initially white. Keep on keeping on!

Making do.

My daughter's clothes drying rack was easier to pull out rather than hang lines for prints to dry. Truly not too many will fit.
Looked out at the rain this morning and no sooner thought, Thank God it's not cold enough to snow when the flakes arrived. With rain under the snow the car windows were messy. I'm not at all ready for subzero temperatures, ice, and least of all the darkness.I have a really hard time leaving for work when it's already dark. I want to stay home. But I walked today in meditation, had chiropractic adjustment, banked, worked second job, made overdue phone call, and most importantly, sanded and put first coat of black paint on recycled frames,and matted a set of prints for holiday show. Wanted to have them ready tomorrow to save a trip, but the paint wants a 24 hour recoat plus 24 more to dry. Hoped I'd have time to put my feet up for a spell, but eating dinner at 10PM. Suppose that's much better than snacking at night. Tomorrow is last life workshop till after the holidays. Which road am I traveling?

A couple more proofs.

I thought I'd add color pencil to these proofs as I'm very displeased with them as they are. I might go back and try an inked proof, but I'm not visualizing it in a solid color.
My day today was in culmination of ideas. I had intended to sand and paint some recycled frames for these prints tonight but sheer exhaustion from extensive afternoon yardwork, settled me into chapter of Art and Fear. Probably first week of this new book I'm on track. I raked an extensive area of lawn, hoping to find the missing lens, but no reports of it's whereabouts. Burning leaves. Putting away lawn furniture and new canopy. Removed gas from one of the tractors for winter care. All of these positive accomplishments could not rest my mind as todays revelation albeit always an unspoken knowing was made apparent. My father will continue chemo indefinately. He's been given a two month prognosis if he discontinues chemo. While we pray for miracles, it's brought an understanding as to why my father isn't fighting this disease like a winner. All the crazymaking selfserving insanities can set on the backburner while I pull into acceptance.

Looky Loo!

Today I crossed comfort levels and guess what? I loved it there!I pulled together several little linocuts so long overdue to print and proofed them. I so wanted to continue working with them but I had to get ready for evening work. But these pieces are drying and will get framed up for several different holiday shows. Plates are about 3X5 inches. Should fit into that Christmas gift price range. It was crazy to do, I had no room to soak and blot papers. To ink plates and print. To take time to discover where I needed press settings to fall to emboss my prints. But yee hah!

A quote.

"You have to leave your comfort zone and go into the wilderness of your intuition. You can't get there by bus, only by hard work."

Photo's taken by coordinator of Women's Business Network. A sampling of Laura's work, and my nudes so graciously accepted by group. Of course I smiled. I didn't feel judged by my subject matter. Intend to have a much more polished exhibit next year. And of course a new pair of glasses!

Computer issues and exceptional photo!

My computer crashed repeatedly tonight as I upload photos. This picture Laura took of my mentors studio table. It is so grounding to see it, feel the reverberations possible of all the different items atop the table. I was intending to upload the album Laura had taken and shared with me and of course it wasn't showing up in my files. Would it help to kick the computer? Not likely. Another day tomorrow and I need to catch a little shut eye before it arrives.

life tonight

Well...I've taken pictures three times and coming out too blurry too share. Tomorrow is another day. Same model as last week, Jordan, now 24 years, is traveling to Colorado, taken a tourist season job. Doesn't that sound wonderful? Thinking in four months instead of lifetime? Same age as my little girl, a whole lot less constrained and capable of seeing life as a whole. Maybe when she comes back I can introduce her to my little boy! Hope they're decipherable!

WBN Expo

Had time off today to prepare and get ready for Expo. Rachel dropped in to get a few more of her things and just when she thought she was through, I had her go back again through a few things I wanted to give to Goodwill. So we got a bag together. That's a little declutter accomplished today! Cleaned art and wrapped corners for transport. Wiped down exhibit boards and hauled them out to my van. At some point today I lost a lens to my glasses and I fear it may be somewhere out in the yard under fall leaves. Had an old pair of atom ant glasses and thought at least they are returning to current fashion. Just another crises to deal with, when it fits in schedule. Or when finances can compensate with new eyeware. Oh...to find that lens. My cousin Nancy came to Expo, it was good to see her and she said she'd come back to January meeting. That would be so great to see her more frequently! We'd been seeing each other about once a year at sister Dorene's annual pigroast. I didn't go this year either. Always working.Subbing another class this week and the days should fly quickly into next weekend...into next week...and so on and so on and so on.

Honor

"Care for your soul. Honor the Divinity within you by practicing extreme self-care."
Gift card I had received at Potlatch not too long past. A worthy reminder when 30 directions seem like no forward motion. Some extra self giving overdue. A good nights sleep may help. Believing that needs will be met. Stepping that toe out into the future even though blackness obscures the view.

Cleo and I~1979

Be Open.

Be open, be available, be exposed, be skinless.
Skinless?
Dance around in your bones.
~Wallace Stegner

Thanks Laura!

Here's the flyer I was so unsucessful with yesterday! Laura shrunk it and emailed it to me. Why didn't I think of that?
I had a enjoyable class today with an easy lesson so the hour was quite interesting. I understood the kids intentions and was able to challenge them. Except the one little stick in the mud who had no intention of doing anything I might have requested. Imagine her shock when her little brother was advancing with skill rapidly! Did she listen while she still rejected my lesson? I was told afterward it normally is a talkative class that doesn't accomplish as much. Which is why I get placed in classrooms where discipline is already lost, the truth is what I teach, not would you care to join us? We're all in this together and it's happening NOW!
Did not get to the sorting needed...Still need to locate items for the bank. Where do I begin to look? Years of insanity pile things together. Why doesn't Captain Destructo handle these issues for me? It would be so much nicer to throw away a box of paperwork than another pair of shoes! Overdue rest is calling. And tomorrow I may "Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal." ~Pamela Vault Starr
I should say, "my soul!"

Well, whatever.

I've wasted the last hour trying to upload a file image!
I'll just retype it here without graphics as I've wasted far too much time:

WBN EXPO - November 17th
North Central College's Annual Women's Business Network Expo

During the evening area women will share with attendees their businesses. A variety of businesses will be represented including:
*Wellness Products
*Skincare Products
*Hand made greeting cards
*Proofing Services
*Organizers
*Mentoring Service for Writers
*Real Estate Brokerage
*Creative illustration and design services
*Tutors
*Fine crafted accessories for the home and wardrobe including handbags and scarves
*Pearl jewelry
*And more!

Items for Sale- Giveaways- FREE!

November 17th, 2008 from 6:30-8:30 PM
North Central College
White Activities Center-Fireside Lounge
325 E. Benton Ave.
Naperville, Illinois
630-637-5468


See that exclamation point after the "And more" that's me who procrastinates far too much and doesn't accomplish intended tasks! OK...maybe because I was waiting for approval to show my nudes...but the group said YES! I'm nowhere near what I intended to achieve since I've had several months to prepare, but heck, I'm preparing 30 different directions and usually it's my personal intentions that fall by the wayside. So be there or be square...and hope I make it too! (I'll be there if even with a small portfolio.)

Jordan

Life came just in time! Before more sprockets blow! I really didn't sleep at all yesterday,the night long it had been impossible to relax. Well, I slept soundly a couple hours before dogs woke me, but then it was over. Where's that leap of faith? I stepped out and took some action on making changes and found out there's a mulitude of uncorrected garbage on my credit rating. Will history ever let go?

Jordan here is a new model gaining experience. She has stamina and beauty. We had a wonderful session with David Hettinger explaining the direction he takes with his drawings and why. Enlightening, grounding. Shorter sketches to share here. Jordan has beautiful proportions and no one seemed to notice how they drooped with the passing of time. Muscles changed and so did the drawings. The close up was a foreshortened pose I really blew...well, it looked nice but there was space that shouldn't have been there.

Battle grounds

Worked today with a collector who imposed harsher unrealistic payments of me. A judge would have been fairer. Even the judges of this area who believe they've heard it all and impose bias against all before them in court. They believe the justice system works? When attorneys and judges open their hearts to truth and honesty, then the system will work. Until then their bias unfairly treats all stand before them. While twisted minds get away with evils and innocents get blamed. A tangent? Do I go to court and hope there is a heart? I've spent over ten years in the courts and have yet to see anything but attorneys taking money from impoverished people who have learned that in the courts their still small voice doesn't count. What counts is how much you have and are willing to pay an attorney. If I had enough to pay an attorney, would not then the debt been repaid? Would that life ever be kind? There are users everywhere feeding off the system and users feeding off the just. How much change can one person create? How much loss is expected before eyes open and ears hear? Who is the vulture holding your debt? Likely the same one that advertises to be the good guy rather than the loan shark who will take all so you might have medical procedures necessary. They also want your soul.

Not ready for winter temperatures.

Recent pictures from state park. Much warmer day. Reflections upon the water of colors I'd been hoping to see. I spent afternoon getting somewhat caught up with outdoor work. Mulched leaves inside fenced area. Cleared wire from burning pile. Rearranged garage to get new tractor inside. Flat tire, stressed battery...I pushed it in, but it is in and there is no longer ice on the seat! Found a glass tiled piece of plywood in the garage with glass shattered. Not a clue where that might have come from. But will go out with Tuesday's trash. Quite a bit of rearranging, still need to bring in patio set, but darkness set in as well as chills. Baked some zucchini bread to warm the house and crashed the evening. Wiped out and looking forward to some shut eye.

Hobo and The Macaw

Hobo happily posed for several pictures, it was difficult to get his eyes open with the flash. He's an amicable fellow who had been brought into the clinic for euthanasia. Lived his life in a garage, boycotting the litterbox. We work on his issues, we clean up after him, we worry that his weight will continue to climb. I have to make litter use interesting or he doesn't bother. He is so completely affectionate, clashing with his downfalls. He has had routine eye irratations that when treated cause him to scratch and damage himself more than allowing a little build up that can easily be wiped away. Could there be another home for him? He's certainly happy being a colony cat.
The Macaw was another story altogether. He was not pleased that I was flashing a light at him. He had been given to me as he arrived unexpectedly with family members from travels. The owner looked into rehoming him and found no-one who understood the noise or damage this feathered friend can elicit. I had interest in rehoming, but haven't had the conviction to place him. He's really a dream gift, how does one let go of that?
I ran down to Paramount Art Center in Aurora to see exhibit of Scott Harding's of Aurora. I'm so glad I took the time to see the show, it is wonderful showing of his paintings. And a rather enjoyable backdrop to see such a show.

Wisdom.

Wise as an old oak. Did I get that one right? Or wise as an owl? I watched sunhawk soar very low over me today.

We are.

I've been watching my heron friend as he has been watching me. If I were to get closer I would be trespassing. Without getting closer my protege stays put. We are alike he and I, if someone comes near I must flee to preserve my individuality. To protect my fantasies. But mostly because alone I advance, with others I wait and wonder if my opportunity exists. We look at each other and for a fleeting moment of shamanism our souls mingle. I love that turn of beak, I look forward to the interchange. Unfortunately I haven't a zoom photo lens to snap this magnificent creatures likeness. I worry about the fears my beloved are currently facing and I treasure the history that cannot be replaced by current invention and folly.

Acrylic Workshop

My evenings labors. I didn't feel like painting when I arrived this evening. Early start with demo put me in heavy traffic and nearly every red light for 16 miles. Or more,it certainly is much further. Took me over an hour to get in. Straight off teaching, home for very short period of time, I fear I will end up paying dearly for neglecting the dogs so. But Ronnie talked me into playing and so I did. I originally had what I thought was quite successful on the paper but quickly ruined it. So I turned the whole thing into background color and truly just played. With second evening pose, I laid it on top prepared ground and worked this way and that till I concluded here. Intend to rework the whole picture with fine lines likely using ink on top of this basis. Quite a few compliments but still feel quite critical about it...looks very much like high school acrylic paintings I was so uncomfortable with.
On other notes, substitute class this afternoon was quite fun, only two of the eight students had been in class before so I had a very productive skill building session and the kids seemed confidant and pleased with their projects. Early work had been slow again. Frustrating. Wish I could just rub a magic lamp and make work appear steadily...not all at once like it routinely occurs. A few undone tasks of today added onto morning agenda. Procrastination meets deadlines.

So very weary...

Pulled back into Silver Spring photos and these show the fresh crisp springs bubbling through the glade. Unfortunately, they aren't washing away the weekends labors which carried on through this evening moving my sister into her new home. I'm certainly not as tired as she, but overdue to crash before an overbooked schedule tomorrow.

Jack

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.

-Melody Beattie


This is Jack. He's rather camera shy and especially so as I added an aquarium background right before our photoshoot. He's doubled in size the twelve years he's been here with us. He used to hibernate through the winter which freaked everyone out! He's acclimated and no longer has a heating pad under his house. He'll stretch out his neck to watch me when he's waiting for his food dish. A lovely fruit and vegetable salad with some choice canned dogfood on top. He does have favorites and he does refuse some of his foods, but like a bird or a cat, he needs to see and smell it often to consider a taste test.

November Mushrooms

More mushrooms to delight in, don't these look delicious? More photos from last weeks hike at Silver Springs. Don't the turtles eat the mushroom? They are the favorite of Jack's my son's Asian box tortoise who shares life with my insanities. Some pictures of Jack soon!
Today was "share and care recycling" at Kendall County fairgrounds. I made two trips, intended a third but didn't make it. Finally removed my broken installed microwave on my to do list for quite some time, but opportunity to get rid of it safely happened today. Alongside a bunch of old mobile phones and batteries, plus bunch of junk electronics. I feel a burden lifted as those pieces are no longer a part of my present, only the past. Didn't realize they were collecting bikes and bike parts...so I went back with five children's bikes that only two of which were really worth anything. I was going to go back with scrap steel, but instead went to my sister's garage sale to lend a little moral support and hope moving furniture became a possibility. It later did, my ex brother in law brought a trailer, my boys and nephews loaded it up, and boys helped get furniture into my house. Changes are becoming rapidly apparent, and a new leaf, or year, or even presidential term is approaching.