Thursday, August 7, 2008
"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, by heaven or hell." ~Buddha
Well, I have not conquered my computer. Uploading brings more disappointments. Why can't the computer tell me in plain English what it is I'm doing wrong? Tried scanning which has been successfully in past, but not tonight. Now the scanner is swearing at me too. My own self, to conquer that, haven't I done that? Maybe so, but reliance on past accomplishments brings very little standing. I've got deadlines and commitments on all sides of me, and I spend my time again arguing with a machine. Not quite Buddha like is it? Could I be a guru on mountain top? Life studies is quite an exceptional homework assignment I'd given myself for some only God knows reason. I am open and listening, seeking, tasting what experiences life has to offer. Now if I could get back to conquering that life tasting, my esteem would rise. So many stories we can tell ourselves, making untruths feasible. My walk today was pleasant, the heat had lifted and breezes were cooling. Sunhawk let me recognize her presence with distant screech. I turned to wave hello. Day long accomplishments with work, different jobs. There are still wars to wage against myself, my needs not being met trying to stay afloat in cruel recession. At times, as I'm open and receiving so many wondrous gifts, I forget that I'm not middle class, but poverty level. It's a hard pill to swallow, but all in a days conquering.