Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Is it Wednesday Still or Thursday Yet?

I kept quite busy today, running late as always, hanging out laundry before work. Extra tasks coming in adding to my day job. So often there's not enough to do, feels odd to be grateful for work, but then that is what we get paid for isn't it? Humid day, a bit trying for noontime walk, but a breeze to keep the sweat from dripping. I ran home between jobs as the skies were darkening, and my dry laundry now in despair. Changed loads, used the dryer which adds heat and humidity to the house. But storm breezes are kicking up again and there's some cooling on the way. I pushed my tasks at vet clinic so I wouldn't feel bad about not working tomorrow evening. End of month tasks complete. What will I do with that time? There are Thursday evening fireworks in Morris. Fair to walk and grandstand to view the show. Or will I hibernate? Just take some time to non commit myself? Swim. Overdue for time in pool. Uncertain as to when overtime will begin or if it will begin with a much lighter workload this year. It doesn't help that I keep working at streamlining production. Without overtime, maybe raises will become feasible? But I was counting on overtime to please my creditors. One step forward, two steps back. I really should be grateful that my job isn't in jeopardy,(or maybe it is)with so many pink slips across the nation. But the rich still get richer, so it's overdue time to create some art for some wealthy patrons. If I can just keep my eyes open. Holiday to consider. What it really means. Do I take in a parade? Certainly there will be nieces or nephews in one of the parades. I've lost so much family time working so many jobs. My previous chiropractor had told me when I quit working so hard, I may have a heart attack and die. Probably not something I needed to hear, but we both knew then it would be many years before I climbed out of divorce debt. And still more to go. Do I need to make plans for the holidays, there are so many things that could be worked into the weekend, or do I just flow and see where it might take me? Too many decisions for an exhausted brain. Will have to sleep on those...who knows, I may have more fences to repair.


Laura said...

Opening mouth and may be not my place. I know you have missed the family affairs and may feel a little disconnected at times. With working so hard you might be the one to practice Holiday celebrations as of your independence. Your new found independence I mean. You don't know how to give to yourself as of let the flow of the day come to you. Put that new found time into your creations. You will find if you put it in first you will be able to fit in the family events too and you will have a new found attitude about life. Allow yourself a little holiday time.Your have been on alert for so many years, like in wartime with life that to do anything else is so uncomfortable it feels safer to do what you always do but you fit for the freedom to feel the presence of a Higher essence and make that connections. I'm preaching and shut me down but honey just do it for yourself first reclaim your life.

Laura said...

Sorry should have read that before I pushed the button. Showing my good side aren't I?