Monday, July 7, 2008
A Work Day's Tale
"I am seeking. I am striving. I am in it with all my heart." ~Vincent Van Gogh
Today he is my muse. Today the remembrance of my sister's passing brought crippling waves of sorrow. Does it help that artists write songs of loss? Vincent lived in the shadow of his departed brother Vincent. I am not in my sister's shadow, but I am seeking, striving, with all my heart for consolation, for the emotional stability she helped with. It doesn't get any easier, it just normalizes, the grief we all bear. Still, the day has been good to me, chiropractor screening showed extreme improvement. Hope the x-rays show improvement also. Not been fitting in necessary exercises for spinal progress. But scan so impressive, we'll consider at moment that x-rays will also show improvement. The increased immunity and life increasing repair has progressed well. I'm anxious for life drawing tomorrow night. Hope enough people are willing to come to pay model this week. I need to pull into drawing at home, the commission, the displayed work, and the pieces my mind has invented and anxiously waits for me to execute. Work that is done, and work yet to do. All that sets waiting for my cooperation. And still I balk at continuing pieces. The censor exclaims, so many hours, what if you ruin it? I suppose I start over but again that is intimidating. Evening work was pleasant, nice pace of patrons. Could have used a few more, but enough to keep focus through the closing hour. Nice visit as Rachel and Loyal came in for dinner. He apparently over tips. Someday to discuss that fault with him. Relaxed at nights end with Stephan on patio. Really healthy to take in a moment for relaxation and star gazing. Cloudy evening, but the breezes audible, presenting themselves as stirring whispers, something quite obviously in short supply. A full day of emotions and glimpses of what may become.